woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
