it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
