I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
