3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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