Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Randomize
