we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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