I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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