i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Randomize
