If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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