Sry I called you an 8
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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