How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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