Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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