Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
