And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
