we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Randomize
