babies were throwing up all over the place
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
