she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
