Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
