remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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