so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
