So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
