Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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