ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Randomize
