If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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