On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Dicks are not precious.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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