I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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