the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
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