I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
