I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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