i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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