Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
