omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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