How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
