i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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