if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I want a musical about memes.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
