I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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