Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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