I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
