my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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