Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
