if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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