I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
