Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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