So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
