so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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