is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
