don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
