I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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