I can tuck mytits in my pants
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
