I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
