a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
