i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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