i barfeds in our rink
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
