She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I think people are normalizing furries
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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