Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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