I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
