apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Randomize
